I Know …

I know … a glamorous “power couple” where I work. I know the husband slept with their 16-year-old babysitter, and I know the wife has a weakness for cocaine …

I know … a formerly fat girl “tramp” at work, who made the mistake of sleeping with an idiot who told everyone about their photographed, anal-related romps. This girl has lost 75 pounds, married, and is rapidly becoming the most well-adjusted person I know.

I know … a millionairess who buys $2,000 pairs of shoes the way you and I buy loaves of bread, without batting an eyelash. And I know she’s been unhappy in her marriage for years, and that she is commonly referred to by her husband (in front of anyone nearby) as a “cunt.”

I know … a “nice guy” at work who gets along with most of his female coworkers famously … and then secures hookers and surfs porn every night at home.

That last one might be Yours Truly.

Do any of us truly know anyone?