Anderson Cooper

This boy is a fool.

It’s bad enough that his resume includes hosting The Mole, but he seems to be too immature to handle the high-stakes ratings battle CNN has thrown him into.

This guy, seemingly intelligent, is CNN’s post-Aaron Brown answer to the Bill O’Reilly/Sean Hannity juggernaut on Fox. He is CNN’s political “star power” in the summer of 2008, a time that brings us — Obamaville, Iraqville, Mortgage-Crisisville ….

So what do I see the “golden boy” doing on CNN? Emulating Richard Dreyfuss in Jaws, babbling in a shark tank somewhere in the Caribbean. Dodging an errant elephant’s trunk somewhere in Africa. All for the sake of “A Planet in Peril.” All I can think is … the horny boy is trying to score macho points with the hotties he works with, like Erica Hill.

His timeslot on CNN demands someone who is more serious, especially this year, tackling Obama, McCain, O’Reilly, Rove, and all of the other talking headcases. He should NOT be on a one-man crusade to reinvigorate Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, just to make Erica’s panties wet.

He is embarrassing.

Bring back Aaron (the lip-smacker) Brown. Please.

Bush

Everything should be so simple. So why isn’t it?

I keep reading letters to the editor from defensive conservatives, all of them angrily demanding that liberals and Democrats stop bashing Bush and company: “Just get over it!”

Uh … no.

Message to the defensive conservatives: You will be hammered about Bush until the day you die, and your children will be hammered after you pass on, and their children as well. And if you think this is just going to go away … get over it! Tough shit, assholes. You reap what you sew.

Similarly, I don’t understand why the Democrats in general and Obama specifically are having such a tough time of this. They have everything — and I mean everything — going in their favor this election cycle. They have a war-criminal, brain-dead “president,” an evil, sick-fuck vice-president, a corrupt administration … and all of this is factually documented!

And yet, the Democrats are such weak, spineless campaigners, that they cannot seem to take advantage of this enormous advantage.

Solution? Do not make this election about Obama versus McCain. No no no no no. Too many people think an out-of-touch old coot should be president simply because he was a Vietnamese P.O.W. 40 years ago, and too many of them are afraid of that “guy-who-might-be-a-Muslim.”

Nah. Go for the gravy, because the gravy is there. Attack Bush, and do not let up. Connect McCain to Bush (easily done) and go after Bush, Bush, Bush. This jackass has provided more ammunition than anyone outside of 1944 Hitler, and he is still in office.

Attack his ass (and therefore, McCain’s), because he is a neverending source of bad news. God knows, if Obama wins, the defensive conservatives will blame him in the next four years for everything that goes wrong in this country. So the only intelligent thing to do is what they plan to do to Obama: attack Bush, right now, for everything that is wrong right now. So, so much ammunition.

No brainer.